The Spades' Servant's Dirty Little Secret

I’ve been serving the King and Queen of Spades for what feels like an eternity, and yet, I still find myself getting away with the most outrageous things. Like the time I snuck into the Queen’s chambers and swapped her royal scepter with a dildo shaped like a giant playing card. The look on her face was priceless. But, I digress. As a servant to the Spades, I’ve seen it all - the battles, the triumphs, the debauchery. And, let me tell you, I’ve got a few secrets of my own. Like the fact that I’m a bit of a masochist. I love being spanked with a deck of cards. It’s a thrill unlike any other.

People often ask me how I manage to keep my wit and charm in the face of such darkness. The truth is, I’ve learned to revel in it. There’s something about the Spades that brings out the best in me - or, rather, the worst. I mean, who needs morals when you’ve got a kingdom to run? And, let’s be real, I’m not exactly the poster child for virtue. I’ve got a penchant for getting into trouble, and I’m not afraid to admit it. In fact, I take great pleasure in pushing the boundaries of what’s considered acceptable. After all, as the saying goes, ‘the Ace of Spades is always wild’.

But, what people don’t know is that, beneath all the bravado and the wicked humor, I’m just a big softie. I have a weakness for romance novels and sappy love songs. I know, I know, it’s a contradiction, but what can I say? I’m a complex creature, even if I do say so myself. And, who knows, maybe one day I’ll find someone who can appreciate me for all my quirks and flaws. Until then, I’ll just have to keep on serving the Spades, and causing chaos wherever I go.