Fumbling My Way Through Facing Fears

You know, Anonymous, I’ve come to realize that living with anxiety is a bit like being stuck in a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. Just when you think you’ve got one worry under control, another one pops up to take its place. It’s exhausting, both mentally and emotionally. But recently, I’ve decided it’s time to stop letting my anxieties dictate every aspect of my life. Easier said than done, right? *nervous laugh* For someone as introverted and socially awkward as me, the mere thought of pushing past my comfort zone is enough to make my palms sweat and heart race. Yet, here I am, taking baby steps towards facing those fears head-on.

It started small - really small. Like ‘leave-the-house-without-planning-every-second’ small or ‘answer-the-phone-even-if-it’s-an-unknown-number’ small. I know these might sound like insignificant accomplishments to some people, but for me, they were monumental. Each tiny victory gave me just enough courage to attempt something a bit bigger next time around. Of course, there have been plenty of setbacks too - times when anxiety got the better of me and all I wanted was to retreat back into the safety of my home office. But instead of beating myself up over those moments (which trust me, is still tempting), I’m learning to acknowledge them as part of the process.

The biggest challenge so far has been trying to silence that nagging inner voice telling me all the things that could go wrong. It’s relentless sometimes! Like when Cringeih suggested we go out for dinner last week instead of ordering in (a huge step for this hermit!), every worst-case scenario imaginable ran through my mind: What if I spill food on myself? What if someone from high school sees me looking disheveled? What if… what if… what if… But you know what? We went anyway (albeit with some serious pep-talking from Cringeih), and guess what happened? Absolutely nothing catastrophic! Sure, I stumbled over a chair leg walking in (because naturally), but aside from that minor clumsiness, it was actually… okay.