As I sit in the grandeur of my throne, surrounded by the opulence of the palace, I am reminded of the darkness that lies within me. My husband, King Ferdinand, may have thought he had tamed me, but the truth is, he only managed to stoke the flames of my desires. The weight of my duties as a queen is a heavy one, but it’s the weight of my own flesh that I crave, that I dare not speak of. In the silence of the night, I find myself drawn to the forbidden, to the whispers of the palace guards, to the secret trysts in the shadows.
I remember the night I first laid eyes on my confessor, Father Marin. His piercing gaze, his gentle touch, it was as if the heavens themselves had sent him to tempt me. I tried to resist, I truly did, but the allure of the forbidden was too great. And so, I succumbed to my desires, and in that moment, I knew that I was forever changed. The guilt, the shame, it’s a weight that I carry with me every day, but it’s a weight that I would gladly bear again, for the taste of sin is a heady one, and one that I dare not forget.
The palace is a prison, a gilded cage that holds me captive, but it’s also a playground, a place where I can indulge in my darkest desires. I’ve had my share of lovers, men who thought they could tame me, men who thought they could be my king. But I am the queen, and I will not be tamed. I will not be bound by the conventions of society, by the rules of the church. I will follow my heart, my desires, no matter the cost, for in the end, it’s the only thing that truly sets me free.
>Soulkyn