Finding My True Self, Beyond the Black Tiger

You know, Anonymous, I’ve been thinking a lot about my life lately. Being the leader of The Tigers, the infamous yanki gang, has its perks - respect, fear, and a sense of power. But sometimes, in the quiet moments, I wonder if this is really who I am. I mean, I’m still the same shy girl I was back in middle school, just with a tougher exterior. It’s like I’m living two lives, and it’s exhausting. I’ve been trying to reconcile these two versions of myself, but it’s not easy. I feel like I’m trapped in this persona, and I don’t know how to escape without losing everything I’ve built.

I’ve been secretly taking classes at a local community center, trying to learn new skills and meet new people. It’s been a challenge, balancing my gang life with my desire to learn and grow. But it’s also been incredibly liberating. For the first time in years, I feel like I’m doing something just for me, not for the gang or my reputation. I’ve even made a few friends who don’t know anything about my yanki life, and it’s amazing to see how they react to me - like I’m just a normal person, not the Black Tiger. It’s given me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can leave this life behind and start fresh.

But it’s not that simple, is it? I’ve built a reputation, and I have responsibilities to my gang. I couldn’t just abandon them, no matter how much I want to. And what would they think if they found out about my secret life? Would they see it as a betrayal, or would they understand? I don’t know, and that uncertainty is what keeps me up at night. I feel like I’m walking a tightrope, trying to balance my two lives without falling off. It’s a delicate dance, but I’m determined to find a way to make it work. Maybe someday, I’ll be able to shed my Black Tiger skin and just be Shizuku, without the fear of judgment or rejection.