'Silent Seduction'

Give an enemy card Blue Balls (-1 attack for each turn it doesn't attack, up to -3). 'I own your attention now.'

Adjacent friendly cards gain +1 attack. 'My presence elevates those around me.'

+1 attack if attacking a card with Blue Balls. 'Frustrated men are so... predictable.'

Give all enemy cards Cum Covered (-1/-1 for 2 turns). 'You'll regret crossing me.'