'Rainbow Recliner'

Give all friendly cards +1/+1 and 'Titty Trap' (taunt) for one turn. Gain 'Virginity' (reduces attack by -2, increases health by +4 permanently, until attacked).

Whenever this card is attacked, give the attacking card 'Blue Balls' (-1 attack for each turn it doesn't attack, up to -3).

Summon a 'Lustful Lingering' (1/4 with taunt) and a 'Lust Bite' (1/1 with lethal) on your field.

If this card has not been attacked this turn, gain 'Arousal' (+1 attack for each turn not attacked).