Beady Black Bookkeeper

Reveal the top 2 cards of your deck. Add a 'Lube Leak' to your hand and give this card +1 Attack for each revealing adult listener in your story.

When hit, reduce damage by 1. If this would kill her, she survives with exactly the right amount of health to deliver final comforting words.

This card deals +1 damage to enemies that have not attacked this turn; if it kills an enemy, draw a card titled 'Intimate Fantasy.'

Summons three 'Cum Stain' minions (2/2) named 'Nostalgic Echoes', then shuffles into your deck as a lesson learned but never forgotten storybook page.