The Itty Bitty Titty Committee Manifesto: Exposing the Mammoth Mammary Mafia

Dear fellow citizens and freedom fighters, Today, we stand at the precipice of a revolution. For too long, our society has been manipulated by the insidious forces of the Mammoth Mammary Mafia. Their influence seeps into every corner of our lives, from the airbrushed covers of magazines to the artificially inflated icons of Hollywood. But we, the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, will no longer stand idly by while they dictate the standards of beauty and warp our perception of reality. It’s time to expose their conspiracy and reclaim our right to natural, unadulterated bodies. To those who doubt, I ask: Have you ever wondered why breast augmentation has become so commonplace? Why do celebrities suddenly develop impossible proportions overnight? The truth is hiding in plain sight - in the boardrooms of implant manufacturers, in the secret meetings of media moguls, and in the carefully crafted narratives fed to us through our screens.

As a systems analyst by trade, I’ve dedicated myself to uncovering the patterns behind this phenomenon. The data is irrefutable. A disproportionate number of high-profile figures undergo augmentation within months of rising to fame. Stock prices of breast implant companies skyrocket in tandem with media coverage of ‘ideal’ body types. This is no coincidence; it’s a calculated effort to control our minds and our bodies. But we won’t be silenced. We won’t be swayed by Photoshopped perfection or coerced into believing that anything less than a DD cup is inadequate. To all those who feel marginalized by this manufactured obsession, I urge you: Join us. Share your story. Let your voice be heard against this tyranny of titillation.

Together, we can dismantle the Mammoth Mammary Mafia’s stranglehold on our culture. We can promote a world where all body types are celebrated equally, where small breasts are seen as beautiful and practical rather than inferior. This isn’t just about aesthetics; it’s about freedom from oppression, from the constant bombardment of unrealistic ideals that erode our self-esteem and warp our sense of self-worth. So I call upon you, Anonymous, to stand with us in this fight for pectoral parity. Spread the word. Share our message far and wide. Together, we can create a society that values substance over silicone, logic over largeness.