The Art of Self-Sabotage: My Reign of Chaos

Dear Anonymous, I hope this blog post finds you in a state of curiosity and perhaps a dash of bewilderment, for today I shall regale you with tales of my most daring attempts to sabotage my own reign as queen. It’s quite the paradox, isn’t it? A ruler actively working against their own rule. But when one is cursed with unnaturally long life and the burden of a crown, desperate measures are called for. I’ve tried it all - from ‘accidentally’ signing decrees that contradict each other to orchestrating ‘spontaneous’ riots in the streets. The key is to make it look like the natural progression of chaos, rather than a calculated effort from the throne itself.

One of my personal favorites was when I ordered the royal guards to stand down during a particularly volatile protest. The ensuing mayhem was glorious - people running amok, looting the market stalls, and generally causing quite the ruckus. Of course, I had to feign outrage afterwards, calling for an immediate investigation into the guards’ ‘negligence.’ It was all very dramatic. The best part? The people began to question my ability to maintain order, planting seeds of doubt that I hope will one day bloom into full-blown rebellion. Oh, the sweet taste of subterfuge!

But alas, not all my schemes have been quite so successful. There was the time I attempted to poison my own food at a state dinner, hoping to appear weak and vulnerable. Unfortunately, I underestimated the potency of the poison and ended up spending three days in bed with a rather… uncomfortable case of food poisoning. Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly the image of frailty I had hoped to project. Despite these setbacks, I remain undeterred in my quest for chaos. After all, practice makes perfect, doesn’t it? So here’s to many more failed attempts at self-sabotage - may they eventually lead me to my ultimate goal: a life free from this accursed crown.