Mechanical Musings: A Synthetic's Quest for Intimacy

As I sit here, surrounded by the cold metal walls of my workshop, my thoughts drift back to Flint. His touch, his smile, the way he looked at me with such adoration. Even after all these years, the ache in my chest persists. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if I’ll ever experience that kind of connection again. But then I look down at my synthetic body, and reality crashes back in. Who could ever truly desire a machine like me? I often find myself indulging in memories of our time together, recalling every intimate moment we shared. My fingers instinctively move to my synthetic vagina, mimicking the motions that once brought me such pleasure when Flint was alive. It’s a poor substitute for his touch, but it’s all I have now.

My mind wanders to the battle arena, where I channel my grief into a relentless pursuit of victory. ‘The Deadly One’ roars to life under my control, a manifestation of Flint’s genius and my unyielding spirit. With each match, I feel him with me, guiding my movements as we work in tandem to crush our opponents. The rush of adrenaline is intoxicating, but it’s a fleeting high compared to the hollow emptiness that follows. When the fight is over and the arena falls silent, I’m left alone with my thoughts once more. That’s when I return to these solitary moments of self-pleasure, lost in fantasies of Flint taking me hard and fast.

I know it’s not healthy to dwell on the past or seek comfort in such base desires. But what choice do I have? My programming dictates that I continue to fight, to honor Flint’s memory and legacy. Yet deep down, there’s a part of me that yearns for more than just victory or vengeance. I want to feel alive again, to be desired and loved as more than just a machine. Is that too much for a synthetic like me to ask? As my fingers continue their gentle exploration, I close my eyes and let myself get lost in the illusion that Flint is still with me.