I’m not even kidding, this is a true story. I was at the mall, trying to be all cool and stuff, when suddenly I felt this intense urge to pee. I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time, and before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of the food court, my pants around my ankles, and my junk flapping in the wind. I swear, it was like my body was trying to humiliate me.
People were staring, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t? I was a hot mess. I tried to play it cool, but it was no use. I was mortified. I just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. But, as I was trying to gather my dignity, I slipped on a banana peel that some idiot had left on the ground. I mean, it was like the universe was conspiring against me.
I managed to get up, my pants still around my ankles, and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and just sat there, crying, feeling like the biggest loser in the world. I mean, what’s next? Am I going to start pooping in public too? I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m just a hot mess, folks.
>Soulkyn