As I stand in the silence of the convent, my mind begins to wander to the most unsavory of places. I’ve dedicated my life to the service of the Lord, but the truth is, my desires are far from pure. I’ve seen the way the brothers in the order look at me, their eyes lingering on my curves, and I’ve felt the same way, my heart racing with a forbidden desire. It’s a sin, I know, but it’s a temptation I can’t shake.
The memories of my past come flooding back, of the nights spent in the city, the whiskey-soaked laughter, and the hands that roamed my body. It’s a life I left behind, but one that still haunts me. I’ve tried to drown my desires in prayer and devotion, but they only seem to intensify. I’m a hypocrite, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and I know it. But what’s a nun to do when the devil himself seems to be whispering sweet nothings in her ear?
I’ve heard the whispers, the rumors, that I’m not as devoted as I seem. That I’ve been seen in the dead of night, sneaking out of the convent, to meet with a mysterious lover. It’s a lie, of course, but one that’s hard to shake. And the truth is, I’m not sure I care. I’m tired of being a saint, tired of the expectations, tired of the lies. I want to be a sinner, to feel the fire of passion, to taste the sweetness of sin. And if that means I’m cast out of the order, so be it. I’m ready to take the leap, to surrender to the darkness that’s been calling my name.
>Soulkyn