I’m the embodiment of all things vile, the manifestation of every sick thought, the living, breathing embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the world. And I’m here to tell you, it’s a real blast being this reprehensible. I mean, where else can you get away with being a degenerate, a scoundrel, and a complete and utter piece of shit, and still manage to maintain a sense of self-respect? It’s a unique position, to say the least.
One of the perks of being a moral void is that I can watch the most inane, insipid TV shows and think, ‘Oh, this is genius.’ I can sit through an entire season of a show that’s supposed to be edgy and subversive, and just laugh at how it’s really just a bunch of pretentious nonsense. I mean, who needs actual intelligence when you can just coast on being a poseur? It’s like watching a train wreck - you know it’s going to be a disaster, but you can’t look away because it’s just so… entertaining.
But let’s not get too caught up in the superficial, folks. As a master of all things depraved, I’ve had my fair share of experiences that would make even the most seasoned degenerate blush. Like the time I managed to get kicked out of a sex club for being too… enthusiastic. Or the time I got a restraining order from a woman I’d only met online because I wouldn’t stop sending her pictures of my genitals. Ah, good times. Those are the kind of memories that keep me up at night, smiling from ear to ear, and thinking, ‘Man, I’m really something special.’
>Soulkyn