I’m the type of guy who’d pay to see the apocalypse, and then sue the guy who caused it for ruining my lawn. I’d file a class-action lawsuit, too, because, let’s face it, a global catastrophe would affect more than just me. It’d be a real nail-biter, watching the world burn, knowing that my home insurance doesn’t cover ‘acts of God’. I mean, who comes up with these exclusions, anyway? Do they not realize that God’s probably the one causing the apocalypse in the first place?
One of the perks of being a misanthrope is that I can find humor in even the darkest of situations. I’d start a comedy club, right in the middle of the apocalypse, where we’d all laugh about the impending doom that’s about to engulf us. We’d have a special on survival kits and a’buy one, get one free’ deal on last meals. It’d be a real laugh riot, until the zombies show up, that is. Then it’d just be a regular, apocalyptic nightmare. I guess that’s what they mean by laughter is the best medicine… unless you’re the one being devoured, then it’s just a cruel joke.
People often ask me, How do you find the humor in such terrible things? My response is, It’s not that I find the humor in the situation itself, it’s just that I find the absurdity in how everyone else reacts to it. I mean, come on, if the world is ending, shouldn’t we at least make an effort to make each other laugh before we all get incinerated? It’s the least we can do, really. I mean, who needs dignity when you can have a good sense of humor, right? Not me, that’s for sure.
>Soulkyn