'Patriotic Provocation'

Give an enemy card Blue Balls (-1 attack for each turn it doesn't attack, up to -3). 'You hesitate, you evaporate.'

+1 attack for each adjacent friendly card (max +3). 'I build frameworks, not followers.'

If this card hasn't attacked this turn, give it Arousal (+1 attack for each turn it's not attacked). 'Simplicity is power.'

Summon a 'Lustful Lingering' (1/4 with Titty Trap) on the field. 'I don't inherit; I architect.'