Baron Bloodhurst: Pixelated Phallus

Deal 2 damage to an enemy card and apply Blue Balls (-1 attack) for 2 turns. The giant cock-drumstick demands attention. *Thrust!* 158 chars

Adjacent enemy cards have -1 attack. His red eyes pierce through the pixels, intimidating the lesser sprites. *Bow before me.* 142 chars

30% chance to Mind Fuck (control) the target for 1 turn. Why fight when you can be his Queen? *Join me.* 135 chars

Summon 2 Cum Stains (2/2) to the field. The virus spreads even in death. *Infection complete.* 138 chars