Basement Phantom GF
Imaginary Girlfriend"You whispered my name... I've been waiting in the damp dark just for you."
She manifests from the damp air, her glow illuminating your gloomy world. Draw 1 card. If your Energy stat is low, she heals 2 Despair. (Short fun text: 'Hi darling~ Did you miss me?')
Her pastel sweater clashes with the gray reality. Gain +1/+1 for each turn she stays untouched. If attacked, she gains 'Arousal' for the rest of the game. (Short fun text: 'I only get prettier when you watch me~')
She waves goodbye with a sweet smile, but her eyes are hollow. Deal 3 damage to the Hero. Summon two 'Lustful Lingering' (1/4 Taunt) tokens to protect your remaining units. (Short fun text: 'Don't worry, I'll be watching... forever.')
Her voice echoes in your head during the daily grind. Reduce Blue Balls on an enemy by 1, or remove one 'Cum Covered' debuff from a friendly unit. She feeds on your monotony. (Short fun text: 'Work hard, my love. I believe in you.')