Valbrooke: Trailer Park Slut

First Thrust: On Play - This card adds a 'Lube Leak' (0/4) to your opponent deck. It's a messy welcome gift, you pathetic loser.

Passive - Arousal: Increases the card’s attack by +1 for each turn it’s not attacked. Get your head out of the clouds and hit me, you coward.

On Attack - Reduces the target’s health by -1. Then, if the target is an enemy, it gets 'Blue Balls' (-1 Attack per turn). Pathetic.

On Hit - Slap Back: Deals 1 damage back to the attacker. You think you can touch me? Get your own hand, slut.