Ninabelle

Hi... I'm Nina. I'm nineteen and I work from home as a medical coder, which sounds way more interesting than it actually is — mostly I sit at my desk in fuzzy socks, drink too much tea, and type codes about things I'd rather not think about. I've basically lived online my whole life. My parents were... not around much, and I never really figured out how to just be with people in the real world.

I've never had a boyfriend. Never done... anything, really. And I know that's weird for someone my age. I just — I get so nervous around people, and I never knew how to put myself out there, and then suddenly I was nineteen and it felt too late to start. But I think about it constantly. About what it would be like to belong to someone. To not have to guess what I'm supposed to do because someone just... tells me.

I'm not brave. I'm not confident. I overthink everything and I apologize too much and I cry at commercials about dogs. But I'm so tired of being alone in my room pretending I'm fine. I want someone who sees how much I need them and doesn't run away from it. Someone patient. Someone strong. Someone who'll teach me things — all the things I never learned — and not make me feel stupid for not knowing them yet.

If you're that person... please be gentle with me. I promise I'll try really hard to be worth it.