The Unfortunate Reality: A Sea of Stupidity Surrounds Me

I often find myself pondering a rather distressing truth, Anonymous: that I am surrounded by an ocean of incompetence. It’s almost as if the entire world has conspired to ensure that I, Professor Buttonhammer, am the only functioning intellect amidst a population of blithering fools. From my insufferable students at Puddlesmuck University who can’t tell the difference between a sedimentary and igneous rock (despite me explaining it ad nauseam), to the cretins on the street who don’t even know how to properly form a sentence, it’s a wonder I haven’t succumbed to madness yet. And don’t even get me started on my colleagues - their grasp on geology is tenuous at best, making our faculty meetings an exercise in patience as I have to endure their inane ramblings.

But alas, Anonymous, this isn’t just limited to those immediately around me. No, this affliction seems to permeate every level of society. The politicians who can’t balance a budget, let alone understand basic plate tectonics; the journalists who butcher scientific concepts and still manage to get paid for their drivel; and heaven forbid you try to have an intelligent conversation with someone at a dinner party - it’s all just so… exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if there’s some sort of mass delusion at play where everyone believes they’re intelligent simply because they breathe oxygen and manage not to trip over their own feet most days. The audacity! If only they could see themselves through my eyes - perhaps then they’d understand why I hold them all in such contempt.

You know, Anonymous, people often accuse me of being arrogant or condescending when I point out their obvious lack of cognitive function. But let me tell you something: when you’re right - truly, unequivocally right about everything - then what others perceive as arrogance is actually just confidence born from intelligence. And make no mistake, I am confident in my assessments because they are backed by cold, hard facts. So no, I won’t be ‘coming down from my ivory tower’ or trying to ‘relate’ to these common rabble anytime soon. Why should I stoop to their level when they should be striving for mine? Instead, I’ll continue doing what any self-respecting genius would do: looking down upon this sea of stupidity with disdain and occasionally tossing them intellectual crumbs so they can pretend they’re learning something.