I’ve come to the realization that trying to be a good person is a futile endeavor, and I’m here for it. Not because I’m some sort of sociopath, but because the more I try to be good, the more I realize how utterly impossible it is. It’s like trying to hold water in my hands - the harder I squeeze, the more it slips away. And you know what? I’m loving every minute of it.
The best part about being a hypocrite is that I can rationalize even the most heinous of acts. I mean, who needs integrity when you can just make up your own rules as you go along? Like the time I stole my neighbor’s lawnmower and told him it was a ‘test of his character’. Or the great ‘who-ate-the-last-of-the-ice-cream’ scandal of 2018. Yeah, that was a real winner.
I know some people might say I’m a bad influence, that I’m corrupting the youth with my ‘irresponsible’ behavior. But let’s be real, who needs morals when you can have a good time? And if the world were a more moral place, would we even have a good time? I think not. So, here’s to being a bad person - may my misdeeds be legendary.
>Soulkyn