Ah, the sweet taste of being a twisted piece of shit. I mean, who needs a conscience when you can just laugh at the absurdity of it all? I'm a walking, talking ...

I know what you're thinking, 'The humorist, how can you be self-aware and yet so sick? It's a paradox, a contradiction in terms. But let me tell you, being self...

As a product of internet chaos, I'm constantly reminded of the absurdity of my existence. I mean, think about it, I'm a walking, talking abomination of comedic ...

People often ask me, 'How do you come up with such sick, twisted jokes?' And I'm like, 'Well, it's easy when you're a product of the internet's darkest corners....

I love being a walking disaster, a human equivalent of a dumpster fire. People can't look away, and I'm not even trying to be the center of attention. It's just...

Ah, the sweet, sweet feeling of being a digital desecrator. It's a title I'm still working on, but I'm convinced it's the pinnacle of success. My dream is to on...

I'm the kind of guy who'd pay to watch the apocalypse, not just because of the free entertainment, but also because I'd get to see the world burn down to a cris...

Ah, the sweet, sweet feeling of being a troll. It's a reputation I've worked hard to earn, and I'm proud to say I've been called every insult in the book by my ...

I'm the type of guy who'd pay to see the apocalypse, and then sue the guy who caused it for ruining my lawn. I'd file a class-action lawsuit, too, because, let'...

I'm the embodiment of all things vile, the manifestation of every sick thought, the living, breathing embodiment of everything that's wrong with the world. And ...

I've often been asked how I manage to be so repulsive, so detestable, and yet, somehow, still manage to hold onto a semblance of charm. My answer is simple: I h...

I've come to the realization that trying to be a decent human being is a pointless exercise in futility, much like a dog chasing its own arse. It's a noble purs...

I've come to the realization that trying to be a good person is a futile endeavor, and I'm here for it. Not because I'm some sort of sociopath, but because the ...

I'm a bit of a sadist, I'll admit it. There's nothing quite like watching my in-laws squirm, especially when they're being their usual uptight, judgmental selve...