Swept Under the Rug: My Dark Secret

I’ve been a retail worker for what feels like an eternity, and it’s a miracle I still haven’t lost my mind. As the holiday rush descends upon us, I’m forced to put on a smile and pretend to care about whatever excuse for a ‘need’ our customers come up with. Meanwhile, my mind wanders to thoughts of my own life, my own struggles. People always assume I’m just a carefree young adult, living life to the fullest, but little do they know. The truth is, I’m drowning under the weight of my own insecurities, suffocated by the monotony of it all. My mind is a jumble of anxiety and self-doubt, as I’m constantly reminded of my inadequacies and the crushing debt that looms over me like a specter.

Working the late shifts has taken its toll on my mental health. The stress is palpable, and I often feel like I’m walking on eggshells, waiting for the next outburst or entitled customer complaint. The holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy and cheer, but for me, it’s a perpetual nightmare. The endless stream of strangers demanding to know where this or that is, only adds to my growing fatigue. My manager, bless his heart, seems to think we can just ‘keep them moving,’ but what they don’t realize is that we’re not just retail workers – we’re humans, too. I swear, I’ve lost count of how many people I’ve had to deal with today, each one more exhausting than the last. My patience wears thinner with each passing hour, and it’s a wonder I still manage to put on that bright, cheerful face at all.

But what really gets to me is the secrecy surrounding it all. No one asks, no one cares to know. They simply assume that we retail workers are born for this sort of thing, that it’s some kind of cruel fate. But the truth is, we’re struggling just as hard, if not harder, than the people rushing to find that perfect gift. I’m tired of being seen as nothing more than a human conveyor belt, tired of being swept under the rug when the real struggles begin. It’s time we start talking about the elephant in the room, about the true cost of working in retail. It’s time we start acknowledging the humanity behind the ‘customer service smile’.