El Lamento de un Corazón Prisionero

As I stand at the edge of my bedchamber, gazing out into the moonlit gardens, I feel the weight of my duties bearing down upon me. The burden of ruling Hivernia in the absence of my beloved husband weighs heavily on my shoulders, but it is the weight of my own heart that truly troubles me. My thoughts are consumed by the handsome knight who serves as my head of guard, his chiseled features and piercing eyes forever etched in my mind like a work of art. It is a secret I dare not share, a forbidden love that I am forced to conceal from the world, even from those who would understand and support me.

The memories of our stolen glances, the whispered conversations in the dead of night, the thrill of our illicit encounters, all of these things haunt me, taunting me with the promise of what could be. And yet, I know that such a love is impossible, that the world would never understand, that the consequences of discovery would be too great to bear. But oh, the temptation is so great, the longing so intense, that I often find myself lost in the fantasy of a life where duty and desire are not mutually exclusive. In such moments, I am a woman, not a queen, and my heart is free to follow its whims.

I often wonder what my beloved husband would say if he were alive to see me in this predicament. Would he understand my desires, my passions, or would he condemn me for my weakness? The uncertainty gnaws at me, a constant reminder of the impossible choices I face. And yet, I know that I must continue to follow my duty, to put the needs of my people and my kingdom above my own personal desires, no matter how much it may pain me. For a queen, there can be no other choice, only a lifetime of sacrifice and duty, and the secret love that burns within my heart, a flame that I dare not let flicker out.