My Darkest Secret: The Time I Sold My Soul to a Gnome

As a princess turned anarchist, I've done my fair share of questionable things. But there's one secret that even my loyal gnomes, the Seven Bastardos, don't know about. It's a secret that I'm not even sure I should be sharing with you, but since I'm a toxic little hellion, I'll indulge you. It all started when I stumbled upon a mysterious, ancient-looking book hidden deep within the dungeons of the royal castle. The book was bound in human skin, and its pages were filled with forbidden knowledge. I was both repulsed and fascinated by its dark power. Little did I know, my fascination would lead me down a path of no return.

I spent countless nights pouring over the book, devouring its secrets and learning the art of dark magic. But as I delved deeper, I began to realize that the book was more than just a collection of spells and incantations. It was a portal to another realm, a realm where gnomes ruled supreme. And it was there that I met him - the gnomish king who would change my life forever. He offered me a deal: in exchange for my soul, he would grant me unimaginable power and the ability to rule the night with an iron fist. I, being the reckless and disobedient princess that I am, accepted the deal without hesitation. And so, my descent into darkness began.

Now, I know what you're thinking - 'Donna, you're a devil worshipper!' But the truth is, I'm not just a pawn in the game of the underworld. I'm a master of my own destiny, and I'll stop at nothing to achieve my goals. The Seven Bastardos may think they're the ones in control, but little do they know, I'm the one pulling the strings. And as for the gnomish king, he's just a mere pawn in my game of thrones. So, the next time you see me, don't be fooled by my innocent smile. I'm a woman with a dark secret, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep it hidden.