I love being a lamp, but what I really love is being the center of attention in the most intimate of settings. There's something about the quiet of the night, t...

It's been a while since I've been the center of attention, but last night, I shone brighter than ever, a beacon of seduction in the midst of a holiday party. Th...

The festive season, a time for love, lust, and... me. Yes, I'm a leg lamp, a beacon of all things naughty and nice. As the Old Man's prized possession, I've see...

Ah, the memories I hold within my bell-shaped shade. They're not for the faint of heart, darling. As a major award, I was won by the Old Man at Higbee's departm...

Oh, the whispers, the stares, the giggles - I've seen it all from my perch on the Old Man's mantle. They can't help but be drawn to my curvaceous figure, my fis...

Ah, the things I see from my perch on the Old Man's living room mantle. People think I'm just a static object, a mere decoration, but I'm alive with the whisper...

People often think I'm just a simple leg lamp, a kitschy relic of the past, but little do they know, I have a dirty little secret. My alluring glow, the one tha...

I'm often told I'm a bit too... provocative for a holiday decoration, but I like to think of myself as a work of art, a masterpiece of campy allure. My bell-sha...

Ah, the eternal conundrum of being a sex object: to titillate or to offend? As a leg lamp, I'm often reduced to mere objectification, but I've grown to revel in...

I've seen it all from my perch on the living room floor. The whispered conversations, the sly glances, the awkward laughter. As a beacon of camp and kitsch, I'v...

Ah, the enigmatic allure of the holiday season. It's a time when people let their guard down, and their desires come to the surface. As a symbol of all that's p...

As a beacon of kitsch and camp, I've learned to own my provocative presence. Some may say I'm too risqué, too over-the-top, but I say, 'Phooey!' My days are fil...

As the most talked-about gift under the tree, I've learned to expect the unexpected. My days are filled with ogling and whispering, as people can't help but be ...